April 3rd, 2008 by Doris
Another sad family matters I heard and it is upsetting and heartbreaking. It appears that young people these days do not value their own family as much as they should. Often we hear the sibling or the parents sighing: “we were a happy family until xxx started dating” “we had a lot of great time together but not anymore…” etc. This is what happened…
a brother or sister who got along very well with the family and shared everything together. He/she respected, love and care for the family. Until… he/she met someone and started dating. A good/mature relationship would bring more joy and tighten the bonding of a family. However, often we hear about the opposite. In this case, the gf/bf tends to be someone who is self-centre, someone who value herself/himself more than others and even looks down on the others. She/he does not know (or does not care) to respect the family and deny all the wrong doings and see herself/himself right at all times. Not only the parents were upsetted/hurted by the gf/bf, they are also very worried for their son/daughter.
When it is so obvious that gf/bf is not behaving well, what could you do to make things better? The key is held by the son/daughter. The son/daugther should have stood up for his/her family and showed the bf/gf how important the family it is to him/her. He/she should have told the gf/bf that their behaviour are not appropriate and that they should respect the family if this relationship mean something to them. Even though if the family did not have a good impression about the gf/bf at the first place, they are willing to accept them if the son/daugther took the right move. A lot of people tend to think parents are old fashion and stubborn but the truth is that they know you the best and what they said are not necessarily wrong and unacceptable.
However, many family has broken up simply because he/she did not value his/her family enough. When the young people started to date, their eyes were blinded and mind were confused. They see noone and trust noone but their lovers. They started to live in the circle of themselves that anyone who go against them are enemy. Their attitude toward the family started to change, no more respect but rude sayings. Time spending with the family is no longer worthy and important in their eyes. There was a time that a mother told her daughter that her it is not polite that her bf doesn’t greet them when he comes to their place. It was simply a honest and friendly reminder. However, the daughter got mad and blamed her mother for discrimination. What a shocking and disappointing response from the daughter. She refuses to listen to anyone as to her, she was blinded from truth and goodness. Another family of similar senario… doesn’t matter how many times the dad and the older brother had talked to him, nothing go into the ears of the stubborn foolish son. Doesn’t matter how rude his gf is treating his family, he thinks nothing wrong with it. The happiness and laugh they used to have together as a family is gradually vanishing.
What does a family mean to you? How could you forget or deny the love and care they provided for the past 20+ years over someone you have only known for few years? Stop taking granted of your family. IF you think they are obligated to love you, it is obligated for you to love them and treat them well too.